What’s Holding Us Back?

What’s Holding us Back?

I get a lot of frustrated people who ask me what’s holding us back from purchasing a house to make our home.

Well there’s a huge back story to answer that, but I can only say so much because it would invade the privacy of my in-laws.

So I’m just going to say it like this…


In 2005-2010, my husband was stationed in Okinawa, Japan. My in-laws live in Maryland (which is my home state). Well in August 2007, my husband came home for leave to sign loan documents for a house that my mother in-law had picked out, that he had never even seen. Since the house was purchased my in-laws have lived in the house. During the course of the last 7 years, my husband has either paid the mortgage each month or has put money towards the mortgage on the house to prevent his credit from being ruined and to help keep a roof over his families head.
Just before my husband was involuntarily separated from the United States Marine Corps in 2014, my in-laws were going through a rough patch financially. So we started paying the entire mortgage as of June 2014. We used all the money we had in savings while he was still active duty (until September 2014) and once we moved out of base housing in July 2014, we used August and September’s BAH (housing allowance) for the mortgage payments. Since we got my husband’s separation pay, we’ve been using that money to pay off credit card bills to increase our credit scores (we paid off $5,000 to $7,000 of debt) and then have been using what’s left of his separation pay to continue to make the mortgage payments for the house my in-laws live in.


People wonder why we don’t ask my in-laws to leave the house, so we can move in….


Well I’m going to be honest… the house reminds me of the house I grew up in. Asbestos, plaster walls (not drywall), little to no insulation, lead based paint, etc. Not only that when the house was sold (my husband didn’t find this out until after he purchased the house) it had a broken beam underneath the kitchen which had caused the kitchen and the room above the kitchen to shift. Now 7 years later, the upstairs is not lived in, the walls are shifting, plaster is cracking (horribly), and we’re unsure if the house is structurally sound. This is why we don’t live in the home.


The house has plenty of character and would be a nice place to live if it was structurally sound and remodeled completely.

The home was built in 1900, it has 3 gas fireplaces, gas baseboard heating. It at one time had 3 1/2 bathrooms. It has three different electric meters, because it was setup as a barbershop, and two living spaces, it also at one time had two kitchens (one was upstairs). The house sits on just under an acre of land (0.79 acres) and is zoned for either residential or commercial property. We listed the property for sale in August 2014 (as well as the properties on either side), as a commercial property but not many people are interested in putting anything on the land because of it’s location (not populated enough for their taste).


It sucks that we’re using my husband’s separation pay to pay for my in-laws to live in my husband’s house, we were planning on using that money for a down payment on a house. In about 10 months, we’ll run out of money to pay for the house and will somehow have to figure out how to pay the mortgage so my husband’s good credit score doesn’t prevent us from purchasing things we might need in the future (student loans for our children, cars/family vehicles when ours die), etc.


This whole situation kills my husband, because he’s unable to provide his children and I, a place to call home. It kills me to see him work so hard for the last 10 years and it go to waste. He’s been working a civilian job since August 2014. He works hard, but hardly makes enough to pay his half of the bills (mortgage for the house my in-laws live in, credit cards, car insurance and gas for his truck).


I would go back to work full-time but with child care expenses, it just wouldn’t make sense. I’d spend more money in gas and child care expenses than I’d make in a month. We can’t afford to be losing money, we don’t need to struggle to make other payments.


Thanks for reading!

Hope you check back soon for an update!

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