Hitting Rock Bottom
For the last few months, I have avoided writing this blog post because I didn’t want to admit that I was in fact, hitting rock bottom. I have been drug along the rocks and have been left battered and bruised from the lifestyle that I have lived for the last 6 years and probably longer.
Hitting rock bottom has been a rough experience for me. I’ve been left feeling ashamed, broken, depressed and more. You see, for the last 6 years, I have struggled to keep my weight in check. I have half-ass attempted to lose weight over the years, which in all reality just ended up costing us money… Wasted Money! Ugh! Hundreds of dollars down the drain.
Over the 6 years that I have been with Kevin, I have tried It Works!, Slimfast products, Alli pills that almost killed me last year when Kevin started with the company he works for now, Nutrisystem foods, gym memberships, personal trainer, home gym equipment, multiple BeachBody Workout Programs, Shakeology. If there was a “quick fix” I was willing to try it. Why? Because I have become lazy. I want all the results as quick as possible without going under the knife. I’m scared to death of surgery.
So here I am, sitting at my dining room table wishing I had been smarter, worked harder, actually changed my eating habits, and wishing I could somehow convince myself to get my rear off this chair and move more. I wish I could just give up the sodas and coffee cold turkey.
I’ve set personal goals over and over again for MANY years. It’s sad because I just can’t find the motivation to actually do what I say I’m going to do. I have struggled for a long time with my weight. Now, is the time I actually change and put in the hard work. No one cane make the change but me. I’m tired of feeling as if I’m being slammed into the rocks below me. Hitting rock bottom sucks, BAD! I keep saying I want to use my YouTube channel for accountability, but I haven’t even been able to keep up with that. I mean, I have 5 kids, we’re starting the adoption process, I have a husband who travels. But I just can’t seem to fit everything into my schedule. Ding Ding that’s it. I need to figure out a way to create a schedule that works for me and my family. If that means I record videos in the evening/night after I go to the gym then that is something I will need to figure out.
Kevin understands my need to feel good about myself again. If I can just get out of this massive ditch that I have dug myself into for close to the last 5 years then maybe I wouldn’t have such a problem keeping up with the things that I want to do with my life. But only time will tell.
So here’s what I’m currently up to, I’m getting a gym membership this weekend and starting Monday, March 20th, I’ll be hitting up the gym as often as I possibly can. If that means 3 to 5 times a week, then so be it. My goal is to work my way back into working out ( I was going to the gym when Kevin was still active duty) so we’ll see what works best for the family and for me. Then as time progresses we’ll change things up as needed. That’s all I can do.
So I’m gonna wrap this up, but starting on March 21st, I’m going to make it a point to get back into uploading videos on my YouTube Channel. I may even start creating videos and embedding them here in blog posts so my readers don’t have to go far to watch my videos!
Well, I hope everyone enjoys their weekend, I’m going to do my best. I’ll be hitting up Kohl’s for some new workout gear (shoes, pants, shirts, etc) and then jumping right in on Monday!
Come back soon!